Almost typical day

We had a bit of a wild one yesterday...which still felt pretty normal by my increasingly desensitized standards. The day started out by finding out that my subjects were going to change yet again (I believe this is the 4th time, though I've lost count). So, all the planning, tracking, and energy I've put into Math (which is considerable) is pretty much for naught. Social Studies is now out as well. Looks like I'll just be teaching Reading and Writing/Grammar. I'm actually happy about that I think. I wish it had just been this way from the start. The grade chair also stepped down on Thursday, so we have even less leadership than we did before.

Then we had a bit of an incident with a boy named Alvin. Now, Alvin's an interesting kid. For the most part, he's pretty meek. But lately he's been getting more and more violent, nasty, and quite disrespectful. It's the kind of thing where I'll tell him he needs to show respect and he immediately throws it back at me: "YOU need to show respect." The way he says it is so mean too - not just like a kid who's just upset and bitter. He's been getting really angry lately, and other teachers that know him from last year seem to think something must be going on with him, as his behavior has taken a turn for the worse. Anyway, yesterday was following a similar pattern: he wasn't doing his work, and was drawing a picture instead; I redirected him several times, asking (and then telling) him to do the assigned work; he repeatedly refused my directions. Over the course of 15 minutes the situation worsened and he began to distract other students by yelling and throwing things. I told him to leave the classroom, as he was having a bad day and it wasn't OK to now distract others from doing their work. As usual, he refused to get up or leave, despite my (perceived) valiant attempts. I wasn't really sure what to do...how do you get a kid to move without grabbing them? So i started dragging his chair toward the door, probably looking quite foolish. He quickly stood up to try to escape to another chair and then I basically seized him and started ushering him toward the door with my hand on his back. He was now flailing his arms, freaking out. His hand caught on my ID badge and it was ripped off my neck - it happened so fast, I can't be sure if it was an accident or not. Then I had to buzz the office to get somebody to come pick him up, as he wouldn't do a thing I told him to do. I later found out that the picture he was drawing was a picture of me (super nerdy too - I had glasses!) with a dozen or so bullet holes in my chest, blood oozing out. I couldn't believe the picture when I saw it! If I can get the picture back from the office, I'll put it up here. If it weren't so disturbing, it'd be pretty funny. So, this picture coupled with what the office interpreted as "assault on a teacher" got Alvin a 180 day suspension. I still don't know what to think about that outcome. I told the office that he probably didn't mean to rip off my ID tag, but apparently that didn't change his punishment.

How quickly this event changes his life: now he has to repeat 5th grade, will probably endure some form of social isolation, and will fall even farther behind academically while out of school. I'm definitely not the type that thinks that absolutely everything in the classroom is a direct effect of my actions (as much as TFA tries to instill that mindset), but I can't help feeling like I failed him. Over the last few weeks, he has angered me on many occasions. My short and frustrated responses to his behavior always made him more angry and insubordinate, and never actually improved his behavior.

Before taking this job, I'd never had any tendency toward anger. In fact, it's always been hard for me to even get/stay angry when I feel like I should be or even want to be angry. But now, I'm finding that I can get really angry during the day. With the number of kids in my class who have anger management issues, it's essential that I maintain my cool throughout the day both to be a solid and predictable presence in their life, but also to model the behavior I constantly ask of them. As I learn more about myself, and my kids, I'm working on controlling my emotions.

Pretty Typical Day

Today I got a new student - Montarious. One of the first things he hands me is paperwork recommending him for an anger management class. I knew at that moment it was gonna be one of those days. Later on, in my all girls social studies section, Roneisha called me a "white dog and a bitch." She was angry that I had moved her from one seat to another. I'd surmise it's possible that she's still angry I gave her an F in math last term...

Reginald was sent to the office today for having gang signs drawn on his arm (I would've had no idea, if not for another teacher calling him out). It's possible he'll be suspended. I talked to him about gang activity in his neighborhood. According to him, he's been approached about "joining up." He's been guaranteed an automatic rank of "old g" if he joins, because of his fighting skills. The kid looks like a high-schooler and commands authority from his classmates. So I had a little chat with him about his intentions while the class was using the bathroom.

Two pairs of my boys nearly came to blows today. I have about 8 students who have serious anger management problems, several of which might also have physical disabilities further compounding the issue.

The thing is that today was a completely ordinary day. Every single day has a long list of issues; I don't think I've had a good day yet. Luckily I have a 4-day weekend this weekend.

I will end with a positive. One of my students I've previously written about, Tydario, who has been one of my tougher projects to tackle, wrote me a letter. Now, my patience with Tydario has been tried like none other. He can be immensely unreasonable, and downright nasty when he gets into his "funks" I've described in an earlier post. The context was that I had just assigned a social studies project where students plan a pretend trip to a country of my assignment. I assigned partner and Tydario was upset about his assigned partner. I worked hard to give him some other choices and he responded very negatively to every one. Then he reflected on it for a few minutes I assume, as he shortly produced a wonderful letter for me:

Dear Mr. Stewart,

thank you very much for putting me on the group. Lord knows I am tring to hold on. I am tring to be a good person. Though the year. I don't think I can do it! Lord also know that I am a good guy. It just take along time for people to know me. Thank you very much for your courage in me.

Sorry

Tydario


The letter obviously touched me for many reasons, the least of which was because "courage" was one of our recent vocabulary words which I had him put up on our Word Wall. These moments are few and far between, but I dig em. The picture I posted is of Tydario.

Some video of me teaching

Qwentavious has to pee real bad. 3 fingers in the air means, "Can I go to the bathroom." I can't believe how patient he was...

Me teaching temperature. Don't judge.