Respite

I've been meaning to write for a while. It's just difficult to stop and write about how difficult and trying my day was, after having just that - a difficult and trying day. So, I'm writing at 5AM in Little Rock while waiting for my plane.

I'm taking a few days off to go visit Whitman. Most of my friends there don't know I'm coming. I absolutely cannot wait to be in Walla Walla. It's going to be such a change! At times, I feel pretty irrelevant in Memphis, and Memphis offers little meaningful substance in return. So I'm stoked to spend some time among good friends who share my experiences, perspective, and values.

The end is in sight now, which makes the struggle seem a little more manageable. I've been starting a list of ideas I have for next year. Actually, I've started similar lists at least 6 times since summer. It's funny to track how the ideas have slowly evolved from the most idealistic to the more realistic. I'm not thinking in terms of compromising idealism - more as a revision of ideas so that they will actually work! I'm hoping that we'll just be self-contained next year (meaning I have the same kids all day and teach all subjects). It's just too hard to manage all these students, because the procedures and styles of each teacher vary dramatically. For example, my homeroom knows to sharpen ALL pencils before 8:30, and then I unplug the sharpener. However, when the students from the other 2 classes come to me, they all have to sharpen their pencils! It's highly disruptive and frustrating. Plus, it looks like there won't be as many behavioral handfuls next year, so I won't mind having them all day (here's hoping.)

Some random tidbits from the classroom recently:

Several weeks ago I had about 6 kids sent home with suspensions. Turns out that when I was taking students out in the hall to discuss behavioral issues, they were taking pencil shavings from the electric pencil sharpener, putting it into ziplock bags, and rolling it up so it looked like a bag of weed. Then they would distribute them, and create pretend doobies with white paper. Some kids had dozens in their desks! It's one of many reminders I see every day that these kids are exposed to some ugly and depressing things.

2 days ago, Fredrick told me that "the most awful thing happened." He said his house had been robbed, and when they put the pieces together, they determined that it was his cousin that did it. Ugly.

Yesterday one of my more meek students, Jordan, asked if he could tell me something. I said "sure." He tells me a lot of random, harmless stuff, and I (mostly) feign interest. But yesterday what he had to say was kinda sad. He confided that his step-dad, who has lived with him for 8 years, didn't know his name. Apparently the guy had thought his name was Ryan, and when Jordan corrected him, the step-dad had to ask mom if Jordan was telling the truth. Jordan was clearly sad about it. I told him that was lame, and that he should tell the step-dad how that made him feel. Jordan's a really sweet kid. Loves to read, has a quirky sense of humor, and is super friendly. I think it took me all of 2 hours to learn his name.

You see why the northwest beckons? Walla Walla, here I come.